Give Me Faith

When we are walking with God, we don't ask God to make our walk easy, it will never be easy. Our relationship with God should be challenging, rough, suffering and ready to face anything that comes our way. It is scary to enter into this new chapter in my life, I am afraid but I want to go into this chapter with faith and not fear. I didn't see this coming but I know in this new chapter of hardship I know God will give me the strength to endure. I don't know what is going to happen but I know God has a plan for my life, it is good. I don't see any good in doing chemotherapy but I know God has something good in the outcome of this. This next chapter, I didn't see it coming, I am still in the shock mode but I need peace, peace like a river. That God will take me by my hand and lead me to the place where He wants me to be. I told God I don't have time to do chemotherapy, but sometimes I need to go through a season of testing and tribulations to build my faith. I know God hasn't given me a spirit of fear but of love and a sound mind. I didn't ask God to make my life easy but to make me strong. Overall, I need more faith. I am very weak but I know God is my strength. Through all of this I pray that God will be glorified. I will decrease He will increase, going through this I don't want people to see me but to see God.

One step at a time?

How I thank God for Joshua. He is the love of my life. But there is a fear that is dangling above me one word, engagement. I don't feel ready. I want to keep dating. I know the talk of marriage is beautiful, but I want to get know him better we have been dating for 8 months. But am I getting to ahead of God? Let me take a step back and see the work of God. There is more he is going to be in our relationship. Bigger then what we can think or image. Allow God to move, breathe into that relationship. Allow myself to get caught up in God rather then the circumstances. I love God and Joshua. How my love for Joshua can go beyond my love for God. How I can't allow myself to get wrapped up in other thing, but allow myself to get wrapped up in God.